No Audio Required
by seiyuurabu
Summary: Reever late at night goes to check on Komui's status and discovers another reason why the paperwork never gets done. Crack with a side of pr0n. Pairing is LXK. For Lavi Kanda fest!


Hi! August 4 - August 10 (Lavi's birthday) has been deemed kink week at the LaviXKanda Festival HQ. The story below is what I came up with for it. (See Live Journal user thelaviyufesthq and peruse all the entries. There's also links to the other hotspots of LXK activity such as the rabiyuu comm on Live Journal, and DeviantArt. Well, hopefully you'll read (and perchance review?) my story first before going off to dip into more LXK goodness.) 

**June 8, 2012:** Editing of some sentences so not as M as it was. Unedited version is on my LiveJournal under my lxk tag.

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No Audio Required

Reever sighed. Not for the first time he wished Komui was as seemingly clueless and lazy as he pretended to be. Then his Chief would be never find the tracking devices planted on him and he wouldn't be stuck searching for him late at night. There was no urgent business, but when the brilliant scientist, albeit complete wacko, remained unseen for many hours or days it was never a good thing. Reever was down to the last place to check, Komui's office. The man's utter loathing for his administrative duties made it the least logical place to look.

Reever entered Komui's office and indeed, that's where his Chief was, alive and well, not suffocating underneath a collapsed mountain of untouched paperwork. Komui was seated behind his desk with only the one desk lamp on, apparently working. After his initial shock wore off, Reever noted the huge wall to wall world map behind Komui had been changed to view screen mode and it currently was displaying porn. How had he missed that? Reever thought as he stopped walking towards Komui, who had glanced up to see who had come into his office, but then just continued on with his writing. Komui knew that if it was important, Reever would inform him soon enough.

The image on the view screen bombarding his eyes consisted of two naked males, well, close, they were shirtless and their pants and underwear were somewhat still attached around their ankles. They were laying down on the mats in one of the training rooms. The one on top was obviously Lavi as he was the only redhead with hair of that length at the Black Order. Following a thin trail of sweat with his tongue, Lavi was leisurely licking his way up a well muscled torso of... of... the right hand of Lavi's partner was tugging away Lavi's bandana thereby keeping him from seeing who Lavi was with. The bandana was tossed aside quickly, but the hand was now delving into those red locks. Lavi was moving towards the left nipple thereby shifting his position enough that Reever saw some black markings on the other's upper chest. Kanda? Kanda was the only one he was aware of with a tattoo there. Well, crap, you really can learn something new every day was the thought that prevailed over the much more logical thoughts that should have been at the forefront of his mind from taking in this sight on the view screen, such as he hadn't been aware that Kanda had returned today.

Komui noticed Reever remained unmoving and that he was rather mesmerized by whatever was on the view screen. How long had it been since he'd last looked himself? He couldn't recall what camera feed he'd left it on. Must be interesting since nothing much tended to phase Reever. Komui turned around in his chair to take a look. Yes, that was new, he definitely could see why Reever would be a bit overwhelmed by such a scene.

"They certainly weren't doing that the last time I saw them," Komui commented casually to Reever, using a tone one would associate with a scientist making an observation of an experiment. Komui turned partially back towards Reever, yet he could readily watch the view screen as well.

Reever blinked and attempted to return his attention to Komui, but an image that big and the content of it wasn't so easy to ignore, never mind being able to comprehend it. As he resumed his approach to Komui's desk, the obvious questions ran through his mind. Lavi, the perpetual skirt chaser, was gay? Or at least bisexual. Not that he had heard of any stories where Lavi had had any success. Kanda with a guy wasn't as big a surprise as the fact that the Black Order's remaining functional Second Exorcist, Mister Cheerful, was behaving very... human. And since when had those two gotten so cozy? From what he was seeing, it couldn't have been a recent change.

The lack of audio was a blessing, Reever readily decided, especially as the activities were getting more heated, although at a slow pace. Neither seemed to be in any rush. Hips were grinding with no urgency, moving in time to kisses being given and taken on the mouth or jaw or neck. Their behaviour was that of longtime lovers indulging after an absence rather than that of two hormone driven teens burning off a craving for sex, Reever observed.

"Not their first time."

"No," Reever agreed, trying to remain as unaffected by the ongoing erotic scenes as Komui. Reever supposed unless something could negatively impact, however minutely, Lenalee, Komui had no difficulties handling any situation at all.

Turning a little more towards his guest, Komui contemplated, "Rare opportunity to see that our two Exorcists, who avoid getting emotionally involved with others, have found more than just some common ground or mutual respect." He then added, "They do mold together rather nicely, don't they?"

"Invasion of privacy." Reever wasn't about to openly agree with Komui's second observation regardless of the validity of it.

"False expectations," Komui countered. He was amused to note Reever wasn't looking away from the sex display, nor the least bit abhorred by Lavi and Kanda's sword-fighting. Ah, the adaptability of the scientific mind, Komui thought. Or, he's just blase given all the technological and magical exposure he endures daily at the Black Order. Either way, the unexpected sight of two guys having sex - with quite an amount of passion - would be somewhat tame in comparison to the usual tasks he coped with. Glancing back more towards the view screen again, Komui wondered where did the stamina come from after an hour or more of sparring he'd seem them engaged in earlier.

"True enough." It's ironic though, Reever added to himself. As much as the Black Order higher ups kept _their_ secrets, they had no morals about exposing, and exploiting, those of others.

Something finally dawned on Reever - the flesh bombardment may have kept it from registering sooner - so he asked, "Wait, since when was Lavi not involved with people?"

Komui turned back once more to explain, "Bookman in training comes first, being an Exorcist comes second." Reever's puzzled look reminded Komui that Reever was unaware what Bookmen were all about, what they were supposed to be like. Junior wasn't sticking to the rules though, which overall was a good thing. "Being recorders of history means being impartial, remaining neutral. Having attachments of any kind is a no-no."

Reever's eyebrows went up. Lavi had apparently missed that memo. Or did that make Kanda a plaything to be tossed aside Reever wondered. Then Lavi deserved a reward for the fine, fine performance he was putting on right now. No, that was real. Not that it was any business of his in the first place. Their relationship was something else he should be filing in the list of things he knew but was better off forgetting, like Rouvelier's cooking fetish.

Komui missed out on Reever's reaction as he went to take a drink from his mug and found it bare. Damn, am I seriously out of coffee? Komui pouted. And Lenalee was fast asleep. Maybe he could beg Reever to get him some more... Komui looked up at Reever to find him focussed on the view screen, where activities didn't seem as though they would be ending anytime soon.

The floor level camera angle meant Reever and Komui were getting quite the close up view of Lavi's backside. Reever was surprised that Lavi was that ripped. Not to Kanda's level mind you, but given how much time Lavi spent with books, such as the past 6 days holed up in the library... he had a very nice ass. Kanda would concur with as both of Kanda's hands had moved down from Lavi's back to kneading both cheeks. As Reever focussed on Kanda's fingers continue to do some further exploring of the area, Reever discovered his own left hand was clenching his pen in his lab coat side pocket. If he'd been a smoker, he would have been craving one, two or 10 cigarettes by this point.

There was a cough, which may have been to hide a smile. There was also a glint of glasses.

Reever blushed a little which thankfully for the low light, probably wasn't noticeable to Komui.

"Very compelling, isn't it? Delightful to see some different emotions on Kanda-kun's face."

Komui was amazing, or his brain was more radically wired than Reever previously surmised. Instead of the sexual pleasures being indugled in, or the increasingly flushed and well marked skin of Lavi and Kanda, he was commenting on Kanda's very much not scowling facial expression?

"You're not recording this I trust." The horror if Kanda found out? Hello afterlife, Reever remarked fearfully to himself, belying the calm that had been in his voice to Komui.

"I didn't think you doubted my intelligence." Komui made to look as though he was hurt by Reever's words.

Reever simply nodded as he couldn't help noticing the pace had picked up. Hips of both parties were moving faster, and Kanda had wrapped his left leg around Lavi's back. Turn around and leave would be the best thing to do, Reever realized, yet he was routed to the spot. A craving for a soda was getting hard to ignore, while his gratefulness for there not being any audio also grew stronger.

"So who won?" Komui asked nonchalantly.

Reever didn't respond immediately as he was suitably distracted. He also wanted to damn Komui for not turning it off because of the effect it was having on him, which Komui was evidently aware of. Was this not affecting Komui as well? He could be jerking off behind his desk for all he could tell... No, no, Reever didn't need to know anymore about what this new found kink of spying on the nightly practices of other Black Order members did for his Chief.

What had Komui asked him, Reever pondered as he tried to regain his composure. Right... who had won?

Keeping his eyes fixed on Komui, and thankfully discovering both of Komui's hands were propping up his chin, he responded, "No one, I think."

"Oooh?"

Reever reached into the inside pocket of his lab coat to pull out a small notebook where he kept record of all the bets the Science Department had running. After flipping through some pages, he reported, "Most votes for Kanda dying first without ever having had sex, next is Kanda killing whoever tried."

Komui nodded. "Followed by?"

"Allen."

"Go figure." Komui seemed rather perplexed by this revelation.

Reever continued, "Marie," then in a much quieter voice he said, "Lenalee," and returning to his normal voice he quickly added, "Daisya, Tiedoll, you, Cross, Jerry, Miranda, Cloud, Hevlaska."

"Yourself?" Komui enquired, while giving no indication of any judgement on the other choices his workers had made.

"Never with a woman."

Komui laughed before declaring, "Then you did win."

Reever shook his head and glanced up from his notebook. Bad timing though, Reever got an eyeful of Kanda reaching his climax. Absolutely not a side of Kanda he planned on seeing ever again, although it certainly was fucking hot to witness this one time. Lavi hadn't quite popped his cork yet.

Komui swung around in his chair to catch up on the progress of the two Exorcists since from Reever it was clear something more stimulating was transpiring. Indeed, indeed. Kanda was panting hard, and far too gone in achieved pleasure to be of much help to Lavi, not that he was far off from joining Kanda.

Finding his voice and glad that his lab coat was long, Reever managed to say, "Er, not exactly. I never would have picked Lavi."

Komui turned again. "So, no Lavi?"

Going through the pages once more, Reever informed him, "Yes, one."

"And the winner is? Bookman?"

"No, it's Jerry."

"Scorpio intuition, huh? Wouldn't be the first time."

Reever was confused by Komui's statement. Ignore, he told himself, while putting the notebook back where it belonged. Ignoring was always the best choice when Komui started spouting stuff that didn't equate. "Do we tell him?"

"He's great with secrets. Letting anyone else know would be a disaster."

Reever was in one hundred percent agreement. Kanda finding out about the bet? Hello afterlife for the entire Science Department.

"Now that that's settled..." Komui peered into his empty coffee mug forlornly for a moment before opting to see how the lovebirds were doing. A spent Lavi still breathing hard was lying on top of Kanda with his head buried into his neck. Kanda bore a peaceful expression and had twined their right hands together.

"My, even a little snogging afterwards too. Going to sleep there would be bad though." At that conclusion, Reever remained silent as Komui tapped a sequence of buttons on a remote. The result was the shift of the camera angle from straight on to a tilted side view. Reever already knew the feed to the view screen had been from either Lavi's or Kanda's golem camera, and not from the cameras in the training room, given the ground level angle they had been watching all this time.

"Rather foolish of them not to turn off their golems, even if the likelihood of being observed wasn't high."

"They did." Komui grinned before adding, "Well, what _they_ believe is the off mode."

Reever shook his head slightly. Trust their dear Chief not to mention to the Exorcists that even powered down - seemingly off - the golems weren't powerless, that the camera and a location transmitter could still be made active. It was a safety feature. The thought made Reever snort. And being at headquarters, the golems were even more at the scientists' complete command, as witnessed by the short burst of power Komui had given one.

Reever noticed the grin hadn't left Komui's face. The man was cruel. However it was priceless to see Lavi and Kanda freeze up from golem's change in position. Back to reality, Reever noted while he watched Kanda glare fiercely at his lover as Lavi tried to placate the irate beast only to be abruptly shoved off. This was quickly followed by Kanda's fist rapidly approaching... The screen went to all static, the connection permanently broken.

Shit, like they'd be shortly, Reever realized, with an angry Kanda on the loose. Now would be a good time to go hide somewhere, yet Komui appeared utterly calm. Hell, even pleased with himself.

Komui took note of Reever's sudden agitation as well as the "do you not value your life" look he was being given.

"It was just a glitch. They can't prove otherwise," Komui calmly stated.

Reever didn't have Komui's confidence that was only gained through insanity. He also valued his ass, and he was more than willing to leave Komui's office pronto to keep it intact. Why had he come in here anyway? Right, to make sure Komui was still alive since he hadn't been seen at all the past day. His search efforts earlier and this decidedly bizarre set events since he had set foot in Komui's office just wasn't worth it. At least the Exorcists knew what potential danger they faced each time they went out; he should be so lucky.

"Kanda is more likely chasing Lavi about currently, and Lavi will convince Kanda that there's nothing to worry about." Komui said to satisfy Reever.

Reever had to concur that was logical. Poor Lavi though. His Chief deserved a little payback. "You are aware that one or two golems need to be replaced. This isn't why we have spare golems made." Reever admonished. Komui's shoulders slumped. Feeling a bit satisfied, he added, "You'll have to file a report." Now Komui was grimacing.

"Must I?" Komui pleaded.

"Do you think Lavi, or Kanda, are enjoying themselves much anymore?" Reever retorted.

A very audible sigh came from Komui as a response, not quite an admittance to any wrongdoing. "I'll make sure they're sent out together more often."

Reever nodded in agreement. He then gave Komui a half baked salute, turned around and headed back out.

If he should make it out of this war alive, and attempt to write a memoir, Reever was sure it'd be a well received, as fiction.


End file.
